transcript: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses, All the kings men, Couldn't put Humpty back together again. Humpty! Dumpty! He was very grumpy! Sat on a wall and it was VERY bumpy! Scowled at all the birds in the sky! Cursed the clouds as they rolled by! He cursed as it began to rain! (HUMPTY CURSES) And when a rainbow shone, he did the same! (HUMPTY CURSES SOME MORE) He cursed, and cursed, and cursed them all! He cursed himself right off the wall! (Uh-Oh) Down! Down, down, down... dooooooooooooooooooooown! Oh, Humpty. And you were nasty 'til the end! Splat. Here comes the cavalry, (TRUMPETS SOUND) Attempting egg surgery. They tried: (SINGER TAKES DEEP BREATH) Rubber bands, Paper clips, Staples, And PoliGrip. Duct tape, Scotch tape, cement, and a paper weight, Hmmm.... Suspenders, Band-Aids, screws, and nails, Safety pins, and wooden rails, A ball of twine, a hot glue gun, A slightly-used stick of gum. (SOUND OF BUBBLE BEING BLOWN UP) Zippers, clamps, and velcro straps, Threaded needle, silver snaps, Putty, Elemer's, and chain links, Buttons, belts, a kitchen sink, Tourniquet's, and soldering, They tried almost EVERYTHING, But nothing seemed to work! (SINGER TAKES ANOTHER DEEP BREATH) So, they decided instead... ...to go have... Breakfast! They had... ...pancakes... ...waffles... ...O.J. by the trough-fulls... ...ham... ...and bacon... ...and sausage links. That's a lot of meat! Don't you think? But they topped it all off with... ...a great big pile of... ...scrambled... ...EGG! And it was the first nice thing, Humpty ever did! And they ground up his shell... ...for compost... ...in the... GARDEN! (WINK)
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