transcript: Shit, shit, shit That’s me. If I got here, it’s because of a girl but let me tell you from the beginning. Oh no, no, no I can’t believe it I’m tired of this ! What ? This introduction, there, it’s unbearable What’s wrong with my introduction ? who are you though ? I’m a clichés inspector My job’s to keep a close eye on movies check if there’s no things that have already been done, clichés… Your movie haven’t even start since a minute and there is already two big clichés in it. I don’t understand, what’s wrong with my movie ? The hero that is in trouble the image that freezes and « That’s me » ? Yes « That’s me » ? ...yes ? « That is me » ? How original ! No, no, no, but I can do better, I can make an original movie. That’s what they all say, but in the end it’s all the same. Come on, trust me. Let’s start all over again Do you trust me ? Yes... Let's go ! Oh shit, shit, shit ! That is not me. It’s a guy, but I don’t know him. Me, I’m right there no, not there, on the left Yes, right here. The random kind of guy Mister Average A guy like you and me. Everything was fine in my life but that was before I met THE girl It was on a Friday night I was going back home when suddenly… Oh, sorry, I wasn’t… I’m sorry to interrupt but is this really original ? Damn ! Do we have something new here ?
I’m gonna try something else. I can’t hear you. We can’t hear you, we can't hear you. I know you can’t hear us it’s because what we’re saying doesn’t matter, it’s the romantic scene what matters it that the audience sees we’re having a good time and that we’re cute, you see ? yes... I’ll go on Can you put the music back on please ? Good Morning ! Yeah, good morning. So, how was your cute cliché evening ? Having a romantic little time, running in Paris streets ? Seeing a mime artist ? Since when is there mime artists in Paris ? Well, I… Well I… And this condo, with the sight of the Eiffel Tower ? No, that way everybody sees we’re in Paris. I know, but there’s no need to put one Eiffel Tower at every window. Eum... Well, that’s because my Paris has many Eiffel Towers, it’s my own architectur And I think it’s a little bit cliché to have Paris with only one Eiffel Tower. What are you doing ? Ludo, what happened between us what great but I need to take my flight to New York. But you can’t leave like that last night didn’t mean anything for you ? Ludo, you’re a great guy but my life’s back there. I wrote you a letter. Ludo, when you read this, I’ll be far already. I believe in love at first sight, and I’ve waited so long… If you don’t mind finishing to read by yourself, I’m really gonna miss my flight. Okay. See ya. And you’ve let her go ? She was just here for the week-end. But I really think she was the one. You can’t let her go like that. What do you want me to do Frédéric ? My life is with you, my life is here. But don’t you love that girl ? I think I do. Oh no... Not this... Everything but not this. Well go get her back ! Oh, damn, not the chase in the airport... Are you sure ? Come on ! Are you sure ? No... Are you sure ? Thierry, say something ! It’s your destiny, dude ! Are you sure ? Yeah ! You’re right guys ! I go get her ! Damn it ! Taxi ! What a coincidence ! You call a cab and here’s one ! Well, I don’t know, maybe I live in front of a cab factory. Yeah, right. But the audience don’t care about me waiting do you want me to do like in the real life ? You do whatever you want to ! Very well then, I’ll do like in the real life. Taxi ! It’s long. It’s boring. Hi, do you take credit cards ? No way, do you know how much it costs to get a credit card machine in the car ? Well that’s great ! We’re gonna have a hard time spend hours on a scene that could’ve last two seconds. Don’t you want to take this cab instead of complaining ? No, you know what ? As long as I’m alive, I’m never getting in this cab ! Why did you do that ?
The thing where you say you’re never gonna do something and in the next frame you do it you can’t do that anymore. No, but she wasn’t polite I didn’t want to get in. You'll see, you will thank her. Me ? Thanking her ? Never, she’d better go fuc… Thank you very much ! Goodbye, have a good day ! Fuck... Well... I don’t mean to bother you but it’s our thirteenth cliché here. That’s a lot. Please, it’s the moment i supposed to be sad to make the audience identify, and to create compassion. So if you could juste leave me alone here, that’ll be nice. Okay. Thank you. There you go ! You exchange your bag with a gangster ? Not bad. Well, yeah, we have the same bag. Mistakes happens, like you never make mistakes ? The same bag ? The Zebra pattern bag ? With Korn written with tippex ? And the Nirvana patch ? Yes. Yes ? Yes. Well, I’ll start over again. Start over again. I’ll start over again. Stop ! How do you mix up your bag pack and a briefcase ? Well I… Well I… Well I… I’ll do it again. Yeah, do it again. So, there is no backpack anymore and you just take the briefcase, easily ? Yes, but you just said that It was weird that I… Sure, but it’s robbery you’re doing here. Yes, but you just said that… Yes, but it’s robbery. You said… That’s serious, that’s very serious. But who cares anyway, I just need the briefcase for the next scene. Why ? Why do I need it ? Well because in this briefcase there in very confidential documents and if I open this briefcase and the bad guy sees me opening this briefcase, he’ll kill me ! Oh, shit, he saw me. The chase ! "The Chase !" Oh, shit. Hey ! Excuse me but why don’t you attack all of you at the same time ? Well, that’s how we usually do, it is each of us a time. I’m waiting for my turn. Number five, please ! Oh, here’s my turn now. Isn’t too hard one at a time ? Oh, yeah ? You know what ? Bring them all ! No, no, I was just kidding, I was kidding ! Damn, I got shot ! No, not my best friend ! "No, not my best friend !" Are you all right, men ? They got me, dude, I think it’s the end for me… And here goes the tearful speech of the dying best friend ! No, not at all, it’s not a speech ! Tell my wife I love her. Shut the fuck up, die silently, okay ? Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Say « tomato » Tomato ? See, nobody dies saying « tomato » so it’s not a goodbye speech ! You’re right, thats not so bad. Oh no, the big villain ! Hey dude, you killed all my friends it's not cool. Wait, that’s your big villain ? Are you kidding ? I want to hug him so bad ! Hey how you doing ? Do you want a cookie ? Yes. Okay, let me try something else. The big villain... Ach ! You shouldn’t have killed my men ! You are going to regret it ! I’m just trying things. With the power of Gobbels kung fu ! What is he doing ? Okay, Let me try something else. Oh no... The big villain You shouldn’t have killed my men ! No, seriously ? It’s raining for the finale scene ? Yes, but they do that all the time in movies. Sure, but not inside. You’re right, not inside. Not inside ! Stop the rain. I’ll start again. If only you had a gun, you could’ve killed me but you don’t have a gun ! while I have a gun, I can kill you if I want to. Come on, take it ! Take it, what are you waiting for ? He’s not looking at you right now ! Because if I was looking elsewhere for a little moment… Are you looking at him ? Non, he’s not looking, come on ! You can not kill me, but I can kill you. Is he stupid or what ? There is no way you can kill me who can kill who here ? Come on, now ! No, I’m not taking it. It’s your movie, you get to decide Come on Mister Stereotypes ! If I pull the trigger ! Yes ! The wallet, not bad. I didn’t know ! I actually thought… I didn’t know ! ...there was no cliché here… I didn’t know ! ...the wallet ! I didn’t know ! ...not bad but we’ve seen it a lot. And where you expecting that ? Come on dude ! Seriously ? the dream trick ? And then, the cliché inspector says "Come on dude, seriously, the dream trick ?" It’s genius, it’s genius. Or… he was dead since the begin gin, only he didn’t know ! Oh, that's pretty cool too ! Oh, because it was a writer meeting since the beginning ! But you’ve got to be fucking kidding me ? Okay, okay. You want something original ? Very well then, so we’re not in an writer meeting because we’re not even on earth. We’re on the Planet Culton ! It’s planet that isn’t even on our solar system and our parents are fried chickens ! Hi, Daddy, how are you ? And I am an alien, and this is not my real face because this is my real face, ah ! Because actually all aliens have my face, and, no ! Actually, we’re clones, and No ! I have better ! Since the beginning I am a killer boot a year 8000 cyborg and I don’t speak French, but Goulep. gluflutrifluririr. Is that cliché, and ever seen before ? No ! It has never been seen before ! There you go ! But it sucks as hell. Oh really ? This is me. I am the cliché inspector and this is how my troubles started. "Hello son, it's daddy !" You can subscribe to our channel to see our next videos !
About
We publish the transcription of a YouTube video. This is useful for: search, language learning.